55 posts from 2007

I guess your wondering why a first year in masters commission would be writing about relationships! I Shouldn't even be thinking of dating, i mean seriously! I'm dating God! Whats wrong with me!!! no really it will all make sense by the end of this blog....hopefully.

I've been talking with old friends and they all seem to say the same thing.....I'm single and I hate it!!! They build their life around this one relationship and if it isn't there, life is almost not worth it! but why?

Do lose yourself in this realtionship so much, that then it's over you have no idea who YOU are?

what you did. What you liked. what you disliked.

I mean even I want a relationship , to share things I've never shared before, to be held, to be in love, to have that guy who loves me for me and calls me beautiful, to share a first kiss(only the MC girls will understand that one ; )  ) but if I don't have it now, I'm ok with it. The worth of my life doesn't depend on my martial status. I have my life, the things I like to do, friends I love to hang out with and a God whose entralled with me and who I love more than anything else... 

A verse to a love is from Songs of Songs...Do not arouse or awaken love until the time is right...

I love this verse because it expresses something so beautiful. it shows to wanting to be with someone, to love them and care for them is in each one of us but it isn't something we should bring out loosely. sometimes we awaken that in oursleves so much to we are comsumed with relationships and wanting one so badly that we are hate being without one!

well, I hope someone gets something out of this, it's been on my heart and this verse has been on my mind for a while!

GIRL AMERICA
Current mood: thoughtful

GIRL AMERICA

Verse 1
My girl America is just a youth in this world
Her smile is more precious than the sparkle of pearls
And though her age reads shes just a young girl
Age behind her eyes show the pain that she's swirled
Through the hand that's been dealt though it's quiet as kept
The weight was all felt last night as she slept
And as she crept into the dreams of the things of her past
seems to have grown so fast, way beyond her own class
though they're right there with her, hers brothers and her sisters
A natural born leader even when her peers diss her
My girl, she's at a crossroads, people praying for her
Some are preying on her magazine ad's, sex, drama, smoking marajuana
Longing for a father to call her 'daughter'
She's part of a generation longing for reconciliation
And this future that they're facing and this poison that they're tasting
My girl, I know it's love that your chasing

(Chorus)
My girl America's crying when she's lying on her bed at night
I can see that she's screaming when she's dreaming for freedom
My girl America's dying while she's trying hard to stop this fighting
Don't stop believing, my girl America

Verse 2
Boys with hungry eyes have been knocking at her door
Telling her that's whats she's for, trying to rob her at her core
Then leave calling her a whore, but still she knows there's more
I know she knows there's more because there's a voice she can't ignore
'Cause it was founded in the foundations, from the day of her creation
In God we trust engraved in the treasures of her nation
And the void the boys can't fill
With the tippin' of the bottle or the poppin' of the pill
But still most of her friends don't care as they glare
ready to drown the funnel as they frown down the funnel
As the stumble and they tumble breaking down into rubble
My girl America, can't you see
It's not the circumstances that determine who you're gonna be
But how you deal with these problems and pains that come your way
It's for you that I pray with hope for a brighter day
So I say, your deliverance is comin'

(Chorus)

Bridge
Faith like a child from your first birth
You left it in the dirt on your worst hurt
And I see each tear in every scar
The hands that have held you where you are
And I can see we've strayed so far
A king born under that morning star
A crown of thorns that was placed to erace
Each tear that touched your face
His palms and sides were pierced with speres
He hung in love just to draw you near
My girl not of tis world
Can't you see this is where we started

(Chorus) X2

His palms and sides were pierced with speres
He hung in love just to draw you near
My girl not of tis world
Can't you see this is where we started...
Where we started....where we started, my girl America

Tuesday, February 20, 2007

I never thought of it this way!?!?! Current mood: ecstatic Category: Life " When God closes a door, he opens a window." I never really got this qoute because ya know why wouldn't God just open another door after he closed the other door. well, then i started thinking about how how easy it is to walk through a door but it's a little harder and it takes a little more work to get through a window. and this may sound silly but i got this out of it. God never promised it would be easy. Sometimes when he closes that door, he wants us to break a little sweat and actually work towards what he wants us to do. For school next year I'm goin through a window, not a door.

It's crazy to read old blogs and see how much has changed!!!

Random things going on in my head
Current mood: confused
Category: Life

I had a good day at work today and some guy who was dressed like a girl came through the drive thru and I didn't know whether to call him a him or a her.....

I colored my hair it looks really good, I miss being a brunette.

I think Jesus is amazing and he's going to be taking care of the tuition for Masters, so I can go about my day and work on something else.

I sat down and really read the rules and guidelines for Masters....and they aren't to bad. I just hope I can follow them once I get there.....Well, I know I can but I don't really know how I'm feeling about it all right now.

Only 82 days until I leave for Masters Commission!!!!

Then people tease me about finding my future husband in Masters and it puts thoughts in my head that I don't need right now.....This first year of Masters is God dating time!!!! 

I'm getting nervous about Masters!!! I'm really doing it. I'm moving away....to Oklahoma! Wow..... 

Well, there's some randomness for ya!!!

Well, I now know without a shadow of a doubt that I belong in Masters Commission, well, Destiny Masters Commission in Del City, Oklahoma....I belong in my dorm room with a bunk bed and a space at the mirror to do my hair and make up....Oklahoma is calling my name....don't get me wrong I love my family and I love Indy and I love my home church....but things change, you grow up...you move on. I feel like a part of me is missing without my team, the stupid yellow grass that never seems to be green...lol....I miss the guys and watching them play the stupid video games and I miss guitar Hero and I miss my girls so much, I miss talking to them!!!  I miss my new home....I miss feeling like I can show who I really am....I love how confident and secure I feel about my self in Oklahoma....I've figured out that just because I've changed and grown.....people back home might not see it....they aren't around me enough to see my new views and how much I've grown up....I'm the same to them. I've picked up where I left off...and I way I've left off is what has changed.

but anyways!

enough of that....

12/23- My birthday was awesome I got to hang out with the family then I hung out with one of my best friends from Decatur and the Pastors family! I also went to Current Church, which an awesome church in Franklin, Indiana!  

12/24- Well, I am going to the dad's side of the family and i get presents!! YAY!!!

12/25- I will wake up and open presents at home, then off to Grandma's house we go....

Well, I'm in the real world in my town in the situation I was in before I left for dmc.....whats different? I'm faced with decisions and I can make wrong decisions and no one would know.....but there's a choice to make.....are you going to stay true to want you committed to or lose it on break?

I had to admit that I miss being in the bubble.....but I love the fact that I'm in the real world with real temptations from the past and the present and I'm standing strong!!!!

well, It's my Birthday so I'm going to party like a.......Christian rockstar!!!!  LOL

Happy Birthday to you too Sonya!!!!

What is Fear?

My old youth pastor used to say that FEAR is false evidence appearing real......

So your sitting around reading this blog after a long hard day of work and school and you I bet you wondering, why in the world would someone like me want to join Destiny Masters Commission and by the way what is Masters Commission?.....well, I'm glad you asked! Masters Commission is an intense ten month discipleship program that helps young people grow closer to God, reach people in new profound ways, minister, travel, volunteer and build relationships. Destiny MC specifically encourages thiers students to think outside the box and stretch their faith and abilities! Leadership is a huge thing! We can all be leaders, but sometimes we need to dig deep to find our leadership qualities!!! DMC is Located in Okahoma City and we go a wonderful church called Destiny Christian Center. The staff at the chuch and in DMC truely care and bring a fresh perspective to each class!!!

As a first year, my personal experience with DMC has been great! Our director and leaders(2nd and third years) are willing to answer questions and listen when you have ideas and if you have even an issue with something! I know I'm bragging on my leadership right now but I am so lucky to be a part of DMC this year and be under great leadership! If you would like to find out more about the program the website is www.destinymc.tv 

You won't regret just looking!!

I have dream to write a book one day.....It won't make sense now and the title of the blog is pretty confusing, but just watch it all come together. I am victim.....It's not a feeling, it's a mindset......

now as you leave me vox page confused and wondering about my sanity......don't worry I can assure you that I've lost my sanity long ago......(just kidding....maybe...)